‘Kingsmen: Golden Circle’ (2017)

I’m trying to think of a phrase to summarise the Kingsmen film I just saw and the best I can come up with is: a hot steamy mess. To be fair a lot of people I know loved the first one, including my friend who I went with. I was attracted to the idea that the film was a elegant suit wearing revival of the debonair English secret service film. How wrong could I be. Shocking as it is to say, I haven’t seen a filmed scene this decade that shocked me with its misogyny as much as a particular scene in this film in which the hero inserts a tracking device into a woman’s private parts. Yes you read that right in 2017, a film was able go beyond the flagrant misogyny that is deeply problematic in the Bond franchise. The film obviously is a take off of corny secret service films, but ‘Kingsmen: Golden Circle’ tops away over the edge of mockery and becomes fully ridiculous in the worst way. How a cast of 4 Oscar winners, Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Halle Berry and Jeff Bridges thought this film was a good idea is beyond me. I’m sure the first thing they read was the digits on their pay check rather than this drivel passing as a script. Cartoonish violence, a convoluted message about drugs, laughable CGI, a plot out of a 12 year old boys head, for a film ostensibly about ‘manners making the man’ it appeals to the lowest common denominator jokes. A film who’s message is; some of the cool ‘bad-boy’ Heros in this film do drugs, but don’t do drugs kids. Elton John is the best thing in the film. Ian Flemming would be so depressed at this pop culture, candy toned, pastiche, monster truck rip off on his original idea. It’s a boring, offensive, bloated movie experience. 4/10


‘Mother!’ (2017)

‘Mother!’ is actually one of the worst films I have ever seen. Don’t be fooled by other critics, art it is not. In the climax I couldn’t stop myself from laughing, it was so ridiculous. This is such a heavy handed biblical alegory/ metaphor done in the least subtle way possible. This could be a career ending film, first the god awful ‘Noah’ and now this. Man-splaining womanhood at its worst. Can’t wait to hear the mental contortions, explanations of men who love this film explaining it to women. The director in trying to depict the ‘violent sacrifice’ of women has himself created a deeply abusive film towards women. Depiction may not be endorsement but the violence depicted here is laughable and gratuitous. The first half is not terrible but the ending is as if a teenage angst boy who hates the world wrote a bible inspired wet fever dream about his woman hating/using guilt. How could academy award winning Jennifer Lawrence degrade herself as an actress and a woman to make this film. My response to this film can be summed with ‘ugh I get it!’ Enough. 1/10